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Gaming

It’s time for Marvel Snap to serve its real audience and get horny

Marvel Snap is a game about exuding confidence to scare your opponent into retreating. It’s also a game about pretending until you can convince your opponent that you are the real thing and that they should withdraw.

It can also be a game where you just have fun with your opponent, and don’t take this card game on your phone seriously, like a pervert. The thing is: Marvel Snap is perceived differently by the millions of people who play it, and there’s no way that better reflects that than the Titles feature.

Do not we all!

Titles are what you think they are; simple, snappy phrases you can choose to appear next to your avatar. It’s one of the first things your opponent will see when they match you, and they’ll always be visible if you click on their avatar during the match.

They are often funny, playful and sometimes subtle references to iconic quotes from the Marvel Universe. Think ‘Maybe capable of greatness’, ‘This is my first game, take it easy’, ‘I’ll save your puny planet’ and things like that. They are meant to communicate something about the player who chooses them.

And of course, a lot of those players only have one or two titles anyway, so they didn’t have that precisely sit down to make their Snap character carefully. But many of us, especially those hooked since launch, have collected a wide variety of titles that they mix and match with their collected avatars to project a… certain look.


The splash screen Snap fiends everywhere are familiar with.

And herein lies the problem: Marvel Snap needs to give players the ability to create their character the way they want, not simply luck into the right titles and avatars. And in that vein, it should also recognize that many (probably most) of its players are, in fact, responsible adults who can get away with saying something nasty here and there and not getting reprimanded for it.

And what better way to support this part of the player base than offering titles for purchase! Only they have to be of the sort that straddles the line between PG and R; bold enough to fly right over kids’ heads, and under the radar of government agencies, or whatever.

There are a few already in the game like “Why yes that’s a loincloth”, “Ant-Man could have killed Thanos”, “Gooey yet firm” and others – but they don’t go far enough.

Strangely enough, for a game about cards and cartoon violence, Marvel Snap has vastly different age ratings depending on where you happen to live. Google Play has it listed as both T-teenand PEGI-7. The App Store, on the other hand, has a more general character 9+ age recommendation.

All of which is to say that these discrepancies create opportunities for subjectivity rather than outright objectivity. Add in the different interpretations of those assessments in the different areas, and you have what I think is a solid foundation where innuendo (sexual and otherwise) and such can exist.

I’m not an expert on age rating, of course, but I think I’ve made a few new titles that should be completely fine, or at least go down the line enough to get through.


Oops, horny on main again.

Here are a few examples, but feel free to share your own in the comments; you never know who is reading this.

  • Stop playing with your deck.
  • This is a family show, use a condom.
  • What if kink shaming is my kink?
  • Everyone loves a tight 90, but what about a tight 69?
  • Pull it out and twist it.
  • My actual title was considered NSFW.
  • The last drops always end up in your pants.
  • No morning wood to chop?

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